Well, I have been Mrs. Kavuma for one month now. Well not “officially” I guess because I still haven’t gotten my social security card in the mail, but who really cares about the legal stuff? As far as I’m concerned, I’m married to the sweetest, most servant-hearted, easily excitable, soccer-obsessed man around.
As I type this I am sitting up in bed while he is still snoozing away and every once in a while he will let out a little snore (sorry babe), and I think to myself, it’s only going to get worse. I have heard my dad snore and I am pretty sure that he didn’t sound like that when he was in his 20’s or my mom would have forced him to get his nose checked. So I have to conclude that men only get worse in the snoring department as they get older. And that little thought makes me smile; I’m so thankful that I am the person who gets to listen to his snoring get worse.
[Someone please remind me in 15 years that I said that]
But seriously, I think I am kind of starting to understand why people say that love is blind. Because even those hard parts when you can’t understand each other, or you don’t agree on what you should spend your Target gift cards on, or you are overwhelmed with Etsy orders and have seriously no time to even take a shower (desperate times, people), they seem like such a huge dilemma in the moment, but after the drama has passed I am right back to smiling at the fact that he is snoring in the cutest way.
We were just talking last night about how it’s still weird to say that we are married or to say my last name is Kavuma now, it’s a serious life change and I guess it just takes a while to sink in. It’s not just the title that is hard to change though. In just the short, fast month that has passed since our beautiful wedding day, we have seen plain and clear how we are very flawed people. When you go from not seeing each other for a year, to battling the visa process for 6 stressful weeks in Uganda, to coming home and getting married a week later and diving straight into work and life and Christmas of all things, it can all start to get a little blurred.
There are moments that I look at him and wonder, what in the world were you thinking?? I’m pretty sure that’s normal, and I have heard many people say that about their spouse, but when you are in the moment it’s hard to have patience and show a little love towards the person that you just promised to spend the rest of your life with. But thankfully there are the moments that I am so overwhelmed by his care, like when he was up all night with me 3 days ago because I had a head cold and couldn’t stop coughing and blowing my nose. I was ready to take care of myself because that is what I have been doing for so many years. I had the medicine ready, the water, the tissues, but in that moment I realized that maybe I didn’t need him, but I wanted him. I wanted Paul to hand me the glass of water, to pour the medicine, to stay up with me and get more tissues when I had gone through the last one for the third time. He wanted to be needed, he wanted to help, and I was thankful in that moment that this month, with all of its challenges was just the start of this life with a man who has a slight snore.
We are still adjusting, things are so busy right now. We are in the middle of the craziest season of the year with Thistle & Thread Design. Paul has been the biggest help and I don’t know how I would be able to get everything done in time without him. He isn’t working yet because we are waiting on his work permit, but I am thankful that my job is flexible enough that we can spend most of our time together and I don’t have to leave all day to go to work. We get frustrated sometimes, especially him, waiting on things to be processed because we are anxious to “settle”, but I know that we are going to look back on this unique time that we have when most of our days are spent together and wish them back when they are gone.
I know that a year from now we are going to be in a totally different stage of life. The struggles that come in this first month will be different than the struggles that come in the 14th month. Our joys will increase and our love with grow. I can already see how he has become more dear to me than he was when I agreed to be his wife. Marriage is an adjustment, but it’s such a gift that you don’t have to do it alone. We have shared so many joys together in the few days. It has been so much fun. It’s hard to remember what it was like before our lives were so intertwined. Adjusting is hard, it always is no matter the reason. I’m just glad that he is adjusting to the same marriage that I am, and understands the struggles that I am going through all the same. Although I don’t snore. 😉